Dear NGUYỄN LAM, after reviewing the 4 essays you wrote: 

1) Task 1 essay: Rainwater treatment process Australia 

2) Task 2 essay: It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks.

3) Task 2 essay: Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work.

4) Task 2 essay: The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school.

Here is my analysis and advice how you can increase your writing scores: 

Task achievement analysis:

You are consistently strong in describing diagrams, explaining processes, presenting clear positions, and supporting your arguments with relevant examples. 

Areas to improve include depth of your conclusions, consideration of counterarguments, and exploring more dimensions of issues. 

Guide to optimising your task achievement score: 

Strengthen Conclusions and Summaries

Restate Main Points: At the end of your essay or report, briefly restate the main points or the final outcome of the process.

Example: After describing the stages of a process, summarize all critical steps succinctly in the conclusion.

Synthesize Rather than Repeat: Instead of merely repeating what's been written, try to synthesize the information, highlighting key insights or implications.

Example: Instead of saying "The process has six stages starting from X to Y," try "The efficient completion of this six-stage process, beginning with X and culminating in Y, underscores its systematic nature."

Expand on Potential Counterarguments

Identify Weak Spots: As you draft your essay, identify potential weak points in your argument where counterarguments could arise.

Example: If arguing for public outdoor spaces, consider potential challenges like cost and space constraints.

Acknowledge Opposing Views: Integrate a brief acknowledgment of these counterarguments into your essay.

Example: "While the benefits of public outdoor spaces are clear, one must also consider the financial implications and space constraints, especially in densely populated cities."

Refute or Weigh: Provide a brief refutation or a balanced discussion.

Example: "Although high costs and limited space are valid concerns, the long-term health benefits and community enrichment these spaces provide can often justify the investments."

Delve into More Dimensions of Issues

Brainstorm Extensively: Before you start writing, brainstorm on all dimensions of the issue, listing as many points as possible, including less obvious ones.

Example: If discussing moving away from loved ones for work, think about all possible scenarios, such as career growth, personal development, financial stability, and technology facilitating communication.

Develop Each Point:

Spend a few lines discussing each point to add depth to your essay.

Don't just mention them; explain their relevance and impact.

Example: "In addition to personal sacrifices, moving away can lead to substantial career advancements, which in turn, might improve the individual’s overall quality of life and even the wellbeing of their family through better financial support."

Explore Alternative Methods Thoroughly

Identify Alternatives: Clearly identify alternatives to the primary method you’re discussing.

Example: If debating team sports as a method of teaching cooperation, list other methods such as collaborative projects, community service activities, or academic teamwork.

Compare and Contrast: Discuss these alternatives thoroughly, comparing their benefits and drawbacks to the primary method.

Example: "While team sports are effective, collaborative projects in academic settings can also teach cooperation, allowing participants to engage in brainstorming and problem-solving, which might not be as prevalent in physical sports."

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Coherence and cohesion analysis:

Logical organization: All your essays are praised for being logically organized, indicating a strength in structuring your responses.

Usage of linking words: While you are using appropriate linking words, there is room to expand your range of cohesive devices.

Transitions between ideas: Transitioning could be smoother to ensure a completely fluid reading experience.

Comprehensive conclusions: Your conclusions could be more comprehensive by summarizing all key points.

Sentence lengths: There is a tendency for some sentences to be longer than necessary, which affect readability.

Guide to boosting your coherence and cohesion score:

Expand your range of linking words and phrases

Increase the variety of cohesive devices you use beyond just the basic ones. For example: 

Addition: Besides, additionally, moreover, in addition

Contrast: However, on the other hand, whereas, although

Reason/Result: Therefore, consequently, hence, as a result

Time: Meanwhile, subsequently, then, prior to

Illustration: For example, such as, in particular, namely

Make a list of these cohesive devices and practice using them in different contexts within your essays.

Smooth transitions between ideas

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using transition sentences, which help the reader easily follow your argument. For example: 

To build on this point...

Another significant factor to consider is...

In contrast, it's also important to note...

Read through your essays and identify places where ideas shift. Introduce transition sentences to make these shifts smoother.

Creating comprehensive conclusions

Your conclusions should succinctly summarize your entire argument rather than focusing on just one or two points.

Structure your conclusion by:

Restating the purpose of the essay.

Summarizing each key argument in one sentence.

Providing a final thought or recommendation.

For example:

In conclusion, having large public outdoor spaces in towns and cities is essential not only for community building and physical health but also for environmental sustainability and overall quality of life. Therefore, urban planners must prioritize these spaces to foster more livable cities.

Varying sentence length and structure

To improve readability, use a mix of short and long sentences and avoid overly complex sentences.

After writing your essay, read each sentence again. Break down any long or complex sentences into shorter, simpler ones if necessary. 

For example, 

Instead of: 

"More people moving away from their friends and families for work can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which might negatively impact mental health, although it offers financial benefits."

Rewrite as: 

"Many people move away from their friends and families for work. While this can provide financial benefits, it may also lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, negatively impacting mental health."

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Lexical resource analysis:

Your lexical resource is generally quite strong, but there are several areas where improvements can be made to push your score higher, particularly towards an 8 or 9.

Guide to elevating your lexical resource score:

Use a thesaurus: Regularly consult a thesaurus when writing to find synonyms. Ensure these synonyms retain the original meaning of your text. For example, instead of frequently using "important," try "crucial," "vital," or “imperative."

Synonym variety: Keep a list of high-frequency words you use and practice finding multiple synonyms for each. Regularly rotate these in your practice essays.

Contextual practice: Write sentences using new words in the right context to ensure you understand their connotations and nuances. For instance, the phrase "emotional crises" could be better expressed in some contexts as "emotional turmoil" or "emotional distress."

Review and revise: After writing your essays, go back and replace repetitive words and phrases with more varied and complex alternatives. 

Phrasal verbs and idioms: Incorporate more phrasal verbs and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Be cautious about overusing them or using them incorrectly.

Collocations: Study common word pairings and collocations. For instance, instead of "mutual conversational topics," you could say "shared interests."

Seek feedback: from Pombeebee AI, teachers and native speakers to identify awkward phrases. For example, instead of "Innately, humans are nature lovers," you might say "Humans have an innate affinity for nature."

Sentence Refinement: Regularly rewrite sentences to enhance natural flow and readability.

Complex sentence structures: Utilize complex and compound sentence structures to naturally create variation in your language.

Grammar and usage drills: Engage in targeted practice for common word-choice errors. Use Pombeebee AI as a grammar guides to understand the proper usage of words that commonly trip you up.

Proofreading: Allocate time to proofread your essays carefully. Look specifically for incorrect word choices or grammar issues. For example, "sports is not accessible" should be "sports are not accessible."

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Grammatical range and accuracy analysis:

You have a fairly good command of grammar and sentence structure, achieving scores in the range of 6.5 to 7. However, recurring issues such as subject-verb agreement, awkward phrasing, and occasional minor errors are areas that need attention.

These include minor grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be improved for clarity and fluidity.

Guide to enhancing your grammatical range and accuracy score:

Subject-Verb agreement: Ensure that your subjects and verbs agree in number. For instance, "sports is" should be "sports are." Practice identifying and correcting these errors in your writing.

Verb tenses: Be consistent with verb tenses throughout your essays. Switch tenses only when necessary.

Articles: Use articles (a, an, the) correctly. They often change the meaning of a sentence and are crucial for precision.

Compound and complex sentences: Practice creating more diverse and sophisticated sentence structures. For example, instead of “Public spaces are important. They offer relaxation,” use “Public spaces, which offer relaxation, are important.”

Reduced relative clauses: Learn how to use reduced relative clauses to make your sentences more concise. For example, instead of “The students who are studying hard will succeed,” use “The students studying hard will succeed.”

Participial phrases: These phrases can help vary your sentence beginnings. For instance, “Believing in the importance of exercise, many urban dwellers support the development of parks.”

Clear phrasing: Avoid awkward phrasing. Read your sentences aloud to see if they flow naturally. Rewrite any that sound awkward. For example, “thus making cooperating training fruitless” should be “thus making cooperation training fruitless.”

Avoid wordiness: Be concise. Eliminate unnecessary words. For instance, instead of saying “The reason why is because,” simply say “Because.”

Passive vs Active voice: Use active voice to make your sentences clearer and more direct. Only use passive voice when the action is more important than the subject.