Tạo tài khoản Pombeebee để đăng câu hỏi và được giáo viên hướng dẫn.
LUYỆN TẬP IELTS MỖI NGÀY BẰNG CÁCH TRỞ THÀNH THÀNH VIÊN CÂU LẠC BỘ TIẾNG ANH POMBEEBEE – HOÀN TOÀN MIỄN PHÍ!
Câu lạc bộ tiếng Anh Pombeebee được tạo ra để giúp đỡ tất cả các bạn cải thiện trình độ tiếng Anh mà KHÔNG MẤT BẤT KÌ CHI PHÍ NÀO, đặc biệt là những bạn khó khăn, không đủ kinh phí cho quá trình ôn luyện đắt đỏ. Tham gia câu lạc bộ bạn sẽ được:
1. Cập nhật nhanh chóng các câu hỏi thi thật IELTS Speaking và Writing Task 2 mới nhất.
2. Được gợi ý câu trả lời band 8 chuyên sâu cho những câu hỏi đó.
3. Tự tin luyện nói tiếng Anh với giáo viên bản xứ mọi lúc, mọi nơi thông qua tính năng voice record, giúp bạn chủ động thời gian. Nếu ngại gửi voice record vào group chat, bạn có thể gửi riêng cho giáo viên để được lắng nghe, nhận xét và góp ý cải thiện, không giới hạn số lần gửi.
4. Nếu bạn có câu hỏi nào trong quá trình học cần tư vấn, giải đáp, hoặc mong muốn cải thiện các kỹ năng cụ thể, cần lời khuyên từ giáo viên thì có thể trực tiếp gửi câu hỏi vào group chat hoặc nhắn tin riêng cho giáo viên, không giới hạn số câu hỏi.
Các chủ đề của English club bao gồm nhưng không giới hạn trong các câu hỏi liên quan đến IELTS, tiếng Anh, Business English, hoặc các kỹ năng mềm trong công việc như cách viết CV tốt, internship/scholarship letter, chuẩn bị cho interview, cách viết email v.v, tất tần tật những gì các bạn học sinh, sinh viên, người đi làm cần hỗ trợ cho hành trang học tập và nghề nghiệp - giáo viên rất sẵn lòng chia sẻ và đưa ra lời khuyên cho các bạn.
Nếu bạn vẫn còn thắc mắc nào về English club, bạn có thể comment ngay bên dưới để Pombeebee giải đáp nhé!
Hãy tham gia ngay: Nhấn vào nút "Gia nhập" để tham gia câu lạc bộ hoàn toàn miễn phí!
Câu lạc bộ tiếng Anh Pombeebee được tạo ra để giúp đỡ tất cả các bạn cải thiện trình độ tiếng Anh mà KHÔNG MẤT BẤT KÌ CHI PHÍ NÀO, đặc biệt là những bạn khó khăn, không đủ kinh phí cho quá trình ôn lu...
Xem thêm
CÂU LẠC BỘ TIẾNG ANH VÀ KỸ NĂNG MỀM POMBEEBEE CHO NGƯỜI ĐI LÀM – HOÀN TOÀN MIỄN PHÍ!
Bạn là sinh viên sắp tốt nghiệp mong muốn cải thiện tiếng Anh và chuẩn bị tốt nhất cho quá trình ứng tuyển việc làm (viết CV, phỏng vấn, v.v)?
Bạn là người đi làm muốn rèn luyện tiếng Anh giao tiếp, thuyết trình và các kỹ năng mềm để tự tin và có cơ hội thăng tiến trong công việc?
Bạn không có kinh phí tham gia các lớp học thêm đắt đỏ?
Bạn cảm thấy khó khăn để sắp xếp thời gian tham dự các câu lạc bộ tiếng anh offline?
Hãy đến với câu lạc bộ Tiếng Anh và kỹ năng mềm của Pombeebee. Tại đây bạn KHÔNG MẤT BẤT KÌ CHI PHÍ NÀO và sẽ được:
1. Tự tin luyện nói tiếng Anh với giáo viên bản xứ mọi lúc, mọi nơi thông qua tính năng voice record, giúp bạn chủ động thời gian. Nếu ngại gửi voice record vào group chat, bạn có thể gửi riêng cho giáo viên để được lắng nghe, nhận xét và góp ý cải thiện, không giới hạn số lần gửi.
2. Hỗ trợ tư vấn, đưa ra lời khuyên để cải thiện các kỹ năng mềm cần thiết cho học tập và công việc như: cách viết CV tốt, viết internship/scholarship letter, chuẩn bị cho interview, cách viết email chuyên nghiệp, thuyết trình, v.v
3. Giáo viên phụ trách là Mr. Lee Wenyong:
Tốt nghiệp Đại học Công nghệ Nanyang của Singapore với bằng Danh dự về Kỹ thuật
Đạt điểm cao nhất môn Tiếng Anh trong Chứng chỉ Giáo dục Tổng quát Singapore –Cambridge
Doanh nhân người Singapore, người sáng lập Lee Wenyong & Co. Holdings, cung cấp dịch vụ nhân sự và kế toán cho BreadTalk, Burberry, Bvlgari, Christian Dior, Elizabeth Arden, Hermes, Prada, Salvatore Ferragamo, Tiffany & Co. và National Trades Union Congress (NTUC)
Hơn 12 năm kinh nghiệm giảng dạy cho hơn 500 chủ doanh nghiệp Singapore cách sử dụng hiệu quả các công cụ kinh doanh thông minh và phân tích dữ liệu để tối đa hóa doanh thu, tối ưu hóa nhân lực và duy trì dòng tiền
4. Chủ đề của câu lạc bộ bao gồm nhưng không giới hạn các ngành nghề như: Marketing, Digital marketing, Customer service, Customer Experience, Public relations, Web design, Web development, E-Commerce development, Graphic design, Mobile development, Audio production, Animation, Illustration, Translation, Photography, 3D modeling, Game design, Product design.
Nếu bạn có thắc mắc thêm về English club, hãy comment ngay bên dưới để Pombeebee giải đáp bạn nhé!
Hãy tham gia ngay: Nhấn vào nút "Gia nhập" để tham gia câu lạc bộ hoàn toàn miễn phí!
Bạn là sinh viên sắp tốt nghiệp mong muốn cải thiện tiếng Anh và chuẩn bị tốt nhất cho quá trình ứng tuyển việc làm (viết CV, phỏng vấn, v.v)?
Bạn là người đi làm muốn rèn luyện tiếng Anh giao tiếp...
Xem thêm
thầy cô có thể chấm bài, cho điểm theo các tiêu chí và gợi ý cải thiện cho e đc k ạ
The given bar chart illustrates the changes in the proportion of people who were born in Australia and born outside this country, residing in urban, rural, and towns from 1995 and 2010.
Overall, it is evident that both people who were born in and outside Australia in the cities made up the highest percentage, while the number of people living in towns and rural areas also witnessed a sharp percentage in each.
As can be seen in 1995, the number of people born outside Australia living in cities made up the highest proportion, at over 60% of the total, while the percentage of people born in this country was lower than 10%. The number of people born outside Australia residing in rural areas is also higher than the people born in this country, which reach 40% and 30%, respectively.
Meanwhile, in the next 15 years, people residing outside Australia living in cities still remain the highest percentage. The number of people born inside this country and staying in cities and towns have equal proportions, just below 20%.
While the rate of people born outside this country has a lower percentage than that, at just below 10% for both.
The given bar chart illustrates the changes in the proportion of people who were born in Australia and born outside this country, residing in urban, rural, and towns from 1995 and 2010.
Overall, it...
Xem thêm
các thầy cô có thể cho e điểm và ý kiến task 1 của e sau 1 tháng hc writting dc k ạ e cảm ơn các thầy các cô rấ rất nhiều ah và e định thi cuối tháng 12 và aim 6.5 7.0 ạa ❤️
The first bar chart depicts the detailed amount of victory medals in the winter Olympics. In contrast, the second picture indicates the sum of each country’s medals in the summer Olympics of the top five national.
From an overall perspective , it can be easily seen: The USA has the highest quantity of medals won in the summer olympics, with more than 2500 medals that have been achieved. On the contrary, France has 550 medals.
In the winter olympics, Norway has the highest quantity of medals, and behind it is the USA.
Looking at the details, primarily in the winter olympics, Norway achieved an equal number of medals (gold, silver, bronze ).
Up next, the USA. This country has 200 silver medals, twofold higher than Canada that/which has only 100.
Russia has, on average, an amount of fairly distributed types of medal .Furthermore, in the Summer olympics, the USA gained 2500 medals that/which increased in leaps and bounds, higher than in the Winter Olympics. Even though France is in fifth place. On the contrary, it is higher than Russia in the forth place in Winter olympics.
Germany and Russia have been successful in both seasons, due to the fact that they are included in the top five in Winter and Summer olympics
The first bar chart depicts the detailed amount of victory medals in the winter Olympics. In contrast, the second picture indicates the sum of each country’s medals in the summer Olympics of the top f...
Xem thêm
Chấm giúp em với ạ
In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
--------
The worldwide development landscape has made multiple replacements in our humanity, especially unhealthy lifestyle and obesity which have been significantly accelerating in some nations. It is suggested that the governments are responsible for finding an acceptable solution for this phenomenon. This essays is going to discuss the perspective that is completely not in agreement with it.
First and foremost, although the governments are merely contributors leading to overwhelmed advantageous amenities installed around the residences, such as fast food stores and convenience chains providing citizens with standards of living, obesity, and an inadequate sense of well-being should be blamed for personal behavior. Obviously, experts illustrated that lack of self-control in eating or sleeping can detrimentally harm oneself with long-term diseases such as obesity, diabetes and circum vascular disease. Hence, acknowledging the paramount detrimental influences of abuse of high-calorie food and sleep disorders is the best way to keep themselves away from falling prey to deterioration of health status. Therefore, apparent outcomes reveal that children who have a nutritious diet and right biological clock are usually evaluated to have better physical and mental health compared to others.
Another noticeable element contributing to this phenomenon is the deficiency of parental management and care. Undoubtedly, parents — the closest relationship, are those who have the ability to control their offspring in what they consume, which is why they ought to take the responsibility of addressing it. Consequently, families which don't provide their children with nutritious meals and management about their sleep orders have a higher potential in being overweight and unhealthy.
To reiterate, the governments shouldn't be blamed for this undesired status quo of youngs' well-being; figures who should have a duty to resolve it should be their parents and themselves
In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
-------...
Xem thêm
In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant information from your own knowledge and experience.
Write at least 250 words.
In the bygone days, people often stayed in the same place their whole life, in modern days people usually move around, they prefer living in dissimilar places in their life. From my point of view, this issue has merits and demerits.
Primarily, in the past people stayed in the same place that can bring a variety of benefits. When they live in an analogous place they can make a small community to trade or exchange the value with the people who live there. Multiple trades foster social values and increase the salaries to a handsome level for them. For example, Vietnam has a proverb “Stability first, career growth later” which means if we live in a unchanging place, we can have a perfect jobs and amass money then. However, staying still will bring about stagnant incomes when they do not have access to useful materials and potential customers. It can create a financial burden and inhibit the opportunity to be developed.
Furthermore, nowadays people move out to different places. It can give a person some advantages aslo. Thanks to a variety of experience gained from different places, in the absence of immovability, we can acquire more knowledge from more experts, and this acts as a precursor to be successful in our career or to have a great position in a big company. When we go to more places we can keep in touch or create more relationships that can be helpful for us. A kid can have more friends, an adult will have more partners and the elders can have contemporaries to confide in. On the contrary, with some people, if they move out with a high frequency, this can lead to chaos and mess up their life because they can’t have a stable life. It happened with some people who cannot balance and arrange their time.
Taking everything into consideration, living in a same place or moving and living in a variety of places gives both sides. It can bring substantial benefits but the drawbacks can be irrefutable.
dạ e mới hc ielts khoảng 3 tháng hè trở lại đây và đây là bài task 2 đầu tiên của e ạ mong các thầy cô có thể cho e những ý kiến ạ e cảm ơn các thầy cô ❤️
In the bygone days, people often stayed in the same place their whole life, in modern days people usually move around, they prefer living in dissimilar places in their life. From my point of view, thi...
Xem thêm
Chấm giúp em với ạ huhu
The pictures below show the changes that took place at Laguna Beach from 1950 to 1990.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
-----------------
Disparities regarding beach areas in 1950, 1970 and 1990 are revealed on the maps.
Overall, over the few decades, the beach seemed to have a trend of commercialization, converting natural features into human-made amenities to cater to living and traveling standards, fostering tourism.
Firstly, from the left, a vast array of dunes of sand remained until it was transferred into the gardens' landscape in 1990. Next, the urbanization was vividly obvious, as beach huts were replaced by villas in 1970 and then a more prestigious accommodation — hotels providing internal pools for tourists, in 1990. Moreover, school teaching surfing, located near the seashore, was also introduced in terms of providing recreational activities, merely beforethe 2000s.
Noticeably, investment in infrastructure had been exponentially considered by the government. From the track in 1950, it expanded into a road in the next twenty years, while the woodland had been flattened down, and was converted into parking space for specific vehicles, caravans and cars, respectively in 1970 and 1990.
The pictures below show the changes that took place at Laguna Beach from 1950 to 1990.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
-----...
Xem thêm
Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity.
What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solution can you suggest to protect endangered species? Nhờ mn chấm chữa cho em với ạ.
Despite knowing about biodiversity’s importance for a long time, human activity has been causing massive extinctions of different species. This essay will examine the main causes of loss of biodiversity and possible solutions of this problem.
The most prominent reason lies in habitat loss which is caused by overpopulation. With an increase in people, the need for space arises, leading to trees being cut down.
For instance, due to the destruction of the Amazon for the last decades, massive amounts of vegetation are depleted, leading to the eradication of various plant and animal species that reside in such areas, affecting the whole ecosystem. Another factor contributing is pollution; the various kinds of pollution are damaging nature more than mankind intended. For example, the chemical fertilisers are destroying the soil and minerals. And the plastic is causing the aquatic species to die.
That being said, corrective measures must be taken immediately to curb the further degradation of our ecosystem. Firstly, stringent laws must be established to reduce the extermination of wildlife, and environmental laws must be implemented for the protection of natural resources from overuse. Furthermore, spreading awareness among the public is very important to make them realize how their actions are affecting our environment. This way, people will be more conscious of the environment and won’t overuse or destroy its resources.
In conclusion, people’s activities that change the environment have a detrimental impact on the world’s ecosystem and several measures should be implemented to tackle this issue.
Despite knowing about biodiversity’s importance for a long time, human activity has been causing massive extinctions of different species. This essay will examine the main causes of loss of biodiversi...
Xem thêm
Nhờ mng và thầy chấm chữa giúp em bài writing task 1, em đang tập viết writing task 1 ạ!! Em cảm ơn
The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.
The given pie charts compare the percentage of students after finishing middle school in three statuses (unemployed, employed, and further education) in Australia from 1980 to 2000.
Overall, the proportion of children who were continuously studying witnessed a moderate decrease, while the opposite trend was true for that of employed child workers. Notably, there was a minor fluctuation in the figure for unemployed underage labor throughout the given period.
Between 1980 and 1990, starting at half of the sample, the percentage of further education students was the highest, prevailing over others in 1980. Similarly, compared to 40% for employed children, this was twofold higher than the remaining ones (10%) in the same year. In the next 10 years, the statistics for children who were workers supplanted those of higher education, accounting for 50%, whereas there was the lowest proportion of unemployed children (12%).
From the year 2000, the three categories have seen minimal change. Strikingly, child workers showed an increase of 5%, while there was a decline in the percentage of jobless toddlers (8%) and higher education students (37%) at the end of the period.
The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.
The given pie charts compare the percentage of st...
Xem thêm
Grading Vũ Thị Phương Anh's writing task 1 essay
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/writing-task-1-07
Vũ Thị Phương Anh's writing task 1 essay:
The given pictures depict the changes in the layout of a cinema from 1980 to now.
Overall, significant changes have been made to the cinema throughout the years. The biggest changes have been the demolition of a car park and the addition of new rooms to serve the diverse demand of moviegoers.
In 1980, the cinema had only two cinema rooms. The small room, the cinema 1 was located on the left-hand side of the entry and the other room, while the cinema 2 was situated on the right of the cinema’s layout, which was about twice larger in size compared to the cinema 1. There was a restroom located to the Northwest of the cinema, in front of a big car park located at the back of the cinema. In the bottom top right corner of the layout, there was a drinks stand and a ticket counter was to the right of the entry.
At present, the cinema has three more cinema rooms. The cinema 1 and the cinema 2 have been located on the left-hand side of the cinema, while the other rooms have been located on the right of the cinema. There has been no car park anymore in the layout. The rest room and the ticket counter have remained unaltered. To the north of the cinema, there has been also two additional rooms, a new relax room and a DVD shop on either side of the main entry. The food drinks stand has been located in the bottom left corner of the cinema, next to the relax room.
Grading:
Task Achievement: 6
You have managed to outline the main differences between the two periods, highlighting significant changes such as the removal of the car park and the addition of new cinemas. However, the essay falls a little short in providing a detailed comparison, and some elements in the floor plan are not fully discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion: 6
Your essay maintains a logical sequence of information and ideas. However, there are some areas where coherence could be improved. For example, the description in the paragraph for the 1980 layout is not as clearly organized as it could be.
Lexical Resource: 6
Your vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but not particularly varied or advanced. You correctly use terminology related to floor plans and layout, but the lexical choices could be enhanced to make the descriptions more vivid.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
While the essay is mostly grammatically correct, there are some noticeable errors that affect the reader's understanding. Phrases like "the cinema 1," "the cinema 2," "the rest room," and "bottom top right corner" are not consistent and can be confusing.
Mistakes and Corrections
the cinema 1 -> Cinema 1
the cinema 2 -> Cinema 2
in front of a big car park located at the back of the cinema -> opposite a large car park at the rear of the cinema
In the bottom top right corner of the layout -> In the top right corner of the layout
three more cinema rooms -> three additional cinema theaters
The rest room -> The restroom
there has been also two additional rooms -> there are also two additional rooms
Translation to Vietnamese
Đánh Giá Bài Luận IELTS
Đạt Được Nhiệm Vụ: 6
Bạn đã phác thảo các khác biệt chính giữa hai giai đoạn, đánh dấu các thay đổi đáng chú ý như việc gỡ bỏ bãi đỗ xe và việc thêm các rạp phim mới. Tuy nhiên, bài luận hơi thiếu trong việc cung cấp một sự so sánh chi tiết, và một số yếu tố trong bản đồ sơ đồ chưa được thảo luận đầy đủ.
Tính Mạch Lạc và Liên Kết: 6
Bài luận của bạn duy trì một trình tự thông tin và ý tưởng có logic. Tuy nhiên, có một số khu vực mà tính mạch lạc có thể được cải thiện. Ví dụ, mô tả trong đoạn văn cho bản đồ sơ đồ năm 1980 không được tổ chức rõ ràng như nó có thể là.
Kho Tàng Từ Vựng: 6
Từ vựng của bạn đủ cho nhiệm vụ, nhưng không đặc biệt đa dạng hoặc tiên tiến. Bạn đã sử dụng đúng thuật ngữ liên quan đến bản đồ sơ đồ và bố cục, nhưng các lựa chọn từ vựng có thể được tăng cường để làm cho các mô tả trở nên sống động hơn.
Phạm Vi Ngữ Pháp và Độ Chính Xác: 5
Mặc dù bài luận chủ yếu là chính xác về mặt ngữ pháp, có một số lỗi đáng chú ý ảnh hưởng đến sự hiểu biết của người đọc. Cụm từ như "the cinema 1", "the cinema 2", "the rest room", và "bottom top right corner" không đồng nhất và có thể gây nhầm lẫn.
Model answer:
The floor plans illustrate the transformation of a cinema from 1980 to the present day while maintaining the original square shape and southern entrance. The main changes pertain to the allocation of space for amenities, cinemas, and additional features.
In 1980, the layout included two cinemas: a rectangular Cinema Theatre 1 in the bottom left corner and a square Cinema Theatre 2 closer to the north. The ticket office was adjacent to the entrance, and a drinks stall was located near it. A car park spanned the entire north side. Toilets were situated between the car park and Cinema Theatre 1.
Fast-forward to today, several modifications stand out. The car park has been demolished to accommodate new cinemas. Cinema Theatre 2 is now smaller and moved to the top left corner, while the original Cinema Theatre 1 has been replaced by a food and drinks area along with a 'relax room.' A new Cinema Theatre 1 is centrally located on the west wall. Three new cinemas, Theatre 3, 4, and 5, line the eastern wall. The drinks stall has been transformed into a DVD shop, and the toilets remain in the same location, unaltered in size and shape.
In summary, while the basic skeleton remains, the cinema has metamorphosed to cater to modern needs, replacing a car park with additional cinemas and introducing a diversified range of amenities.
(180 words)
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/writing-task-1-07
Vũ Thị Phương Anh's writing task 1 essay:
The given pictures depict the changes in the layout of a cinema from 1980 to now.
Overall, si...
Xem thêm
Grading Nguyễn Văn Hoàng Hà's writing task 1 essay
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/ca-nha-cham-giup-em-bai-viet-duoi-day-nhe-em-cam-on-a
Nguyễn Văn Hoàng Hà's writing task 1 essay:
The given chart illustrates the different ages of people living in Iceland from 1990 and 2020. Overall, the size of the age group between 25 and 54 is second to none over the period, with the proportion always staying above 30%; whereas the size of the two younger ages experienced an downward trend. Additionally, the number of people in the two older age groups remained mostly unchanged.
At the first place, the 25-54 age group accounted for one-third of the total population of Iceland in 1990, before witnessing a gradual rise throughout the period and reaching nearly a half of the population in 2020.
In stark contrast, the age group of 0-14 fell from just over 25% in 1990 to just under 20% in 2020. Similarly, that of 15-24 followed a similar downward trend, dropping from just over 20% in 1990 to approximately 8% in 2020.
Regarding the two older age groups, there weren’t many fluctuations, with the percentage of age group between 65 and over hovered around 13%, except a minor increase in 2010 at around 15%; whilst the size of age group between 55 and 64 only saw a mild drop from about 14% in 1990 to 10% in 2020.
Grading:
Task Achievement: 7
Your essay covers all the data points, but it lacks a bit in explaining the overall trends. Phrases like "second to none" and "just over" could be more precise. You managed to summarize the key information, but it would benefit from a more thorough analysis of the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: 8
The essay is logically organized, and ideas are connected naturally. Phrases like "In stark contrast" and "Similarly" help guide the reader. However, the phrase "At the first place" could be improved, as it is not perfectly suitable for the context.
Lexical Resource: 8
Your vocabulary is good, but the phrasing sometimes becomes repetitive. For example, you often use "just over" and "just under," which could be diversified. Additionally, there were some awkward phrases, like "size of the age group," which could be simplified to "proportion of the population."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
There are minor grammatical mistakes, including inconsistent tense usage ("hovered" should be "hovering"). Overall, the sentences are mostly accurate but could benefit from a bit more complexity.
Overall IELTS Band Score: 7.5
Corrections:
"from 1990 and 2020" should be "from 1990 to 2020."
"the size of the age group between 25 and 54 is second to none over the period" should be "the proportion of the population aged 25 to 54 remained dominant over the period."
"the size of the two younger ages experienced an downward trend" should be "the proportion of the two younger age groups experienced a downward trend."
"At the first place" should be "Initially."
"hovered around 13%" should be "hovering around 13%."
Tiếng Việt:
Đánh giá bài luận IELTS Writing Task 1:
Đạt được nhiệm vụ: 7
Bài luận của bạn đã đề cập đến tất cả các điểm dữ liệu, nhưng thiếu phân tích chi tiết về xu hướng tổng thể. Cụm từ như "second to none" và "just over" có thể được diễn đạt chính xác hơn.
Tính mạch lạc và liên kết: 8
Bài luận được tổ chức một cách logic, và các ý tưởng được kết nối tự nhiên. Cụm từ như "In stark contrast" và "Similarly" giúp dẫn dắt người đọc. Tuy nhiên, cụm từ "At the first place" cần được cải thiện, vì nó không phù hợp hoàn toàn trong ngữ cảnh này.
Tài nguyên từ vựng: 8
Từ vựng của bạn tốt, nhưng cách diễn đạt đôi khi trở nên lặp lại. Bạn thường sử dụng "just over" và "just under," có thể được đa dạng hóa.
Phạm vi và độ chính xác ngữ pháp: 7
Có vài lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ, bao gồm việc sử dụng thì không nhất quán ("hovered" nên là "hovering"). Nói chung, các câu chủ yếu đều chính xác nhưng có thể được cải thiện bằng các câu phức tạp hơn.
Điểm số IELTS Tổng cộng: 7.5
Các sửa đổi:
"from 1990 and 2020" nên là "from 1990 to 2020."
"the size of the age group between 25 and 54 is second to none over the period" nên là "the proportion of the population aged 25 to 54 remained dominant over the period."
"the size of the two younger ages experienced an downward trend" nên là "the proportion of the two younger age groups experienced a downward trend."
"At the first place" nên là "Initially."
"hovered around 13%" nên là "hovering around 13%."
Model essay:
The bar chart delineates the demographic distribution of Iceland's population across five different age groups, spanning three decades from 1990 to 2020. A discernible trend is the shift towards an older population, albeit with some fluctuations.
In 1990, the age group comprising individuals between 25 to 54 was the largest, accounting for 31% of the population. This figure grew steadily over the years, peaking at 49% in 2020. In contrast, the percentage of those aged 0 to 14 declined gradually from 23% in 1990 to 18% in 2020. Similarly, the 15 to 24 age bracket shrank noticeably from 21% to 9% over the same period.
The population aged 65 and over saw an initial increase from 12% in 1990 to 15% in 2010, before slightly retracting to 14% in 2020. Interestingly, the 55 to 64 age group decreased from 13% in 1990 to 10% in 2020, remaining relatively stable throughout the intervening years.
In summary, over the past three decades, Iceland has experienced a discernible aging trend, with a notable increase in the 25 to 54 age category and a decline in the younger age groups. The senior population also saw an overall increase, underlining the demographic shift towards an older population.
(178 words)
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/ca-nha-cham-giup-em-bai-viet-duoi-day-nhe-em-cam-on-a
Nguyễn Văn Hoàng Hà's writing task 1 essay:
The given chart illustrates the different ages of people li...
Xem thêm
Grading Trần Thanh Vân's writing task 2 essay
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/ielts-writing-task-2-07
Question:
Some people think that the government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people, but others argue that it should be decided by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Trần Thanh Vân's essay:
It has been suggested by some individuals that the authorities had better make sure that their residents are leading a healthy lifestyle, whereas others hold the view that people should be at liberty to choose their way of living. As far as I am concerned, although the former opinion may seem reasonable concerning the improvement in public health, I gravitate towards the latter one in terms of people’s different backgrounds and possible impracticality.
On the one hand, the idea of the government controlling residents’ lifestyle can be somewhat justifiable. This can be ascribed to the enhancement in public well-being. Specifically, the standardization of eating or sleeping habits, which can be established from thorough research, can help ensure that most citizens take care of themselves properly, thereby doing wonders for their well-being. As a result, the amount of public funding allocated on healthcare services can be lessened, thus reducing the financial burden placed upon the government.
On the other hand, I am in favour of the statement that individuals should be the ones to decide their lifestyle. To begin with, it would be impractical to universally apply a set of lifestyle standards to every resident. It is a matter of fact that different citizens do not have similar backgrounds and mindsets. For example, residents snowed under with workload may not be able to manage time for exercising or going to bed early. Besides, underprivileged people cannot have nutritious meals as more well-off ones. Additionally, this policy may not be as effective as expected. Since each person has their own mindset as well as hobbies, they may be unwilling to follow a standardized diet or routine. Therefore, being demanded to follow a strictly-monitored lifestyle may make residents feel restrained and uncomfortable
In conclusion, it is my perspective that despite the public health being improved, the governmental control over people’s lifestyle may be impractical in terms of people’s different backgrounds and mindsets as well as inefficiency.
Grading:
Task Achievement:
Score: 6.5
Your essay adequately addresses the task by presenting both sides of the argument and giving your opinion. However, you could improve by offering specific examples to support your arguments, and you could expand on your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion:
Score: 7
You have logical organization and effective paragraphing. However, there are some places where the sentence structure could be smoother for better cohesion and coherence.
Lexical Resource:
Score: 7
Your essay showcases a good range of vocabulary and phrases. However, you could benefit from using more precise terms in some instances to better express your thoughts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
Score: 6.5
You display a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some minor mistakes and awkward phrasings.
Specific Corrections:
Original Sentence:
"It has been suggested by some individuals that the authorities had better make sure that their residents are leading a healthy lifestyle..."
Correction:
"It has been suggested by some that the government should ensure their citizens lead a healthy lifestyle..."
Original Sentence:
"As far as I am concerned, although the former opinion may seem reasonable concerning the improvement in public health, I gravitate towards the latter one in terms of people’s different backgrounds and possible impracticality."
Correction:
"As far as I am concerned, although the former opinion may have merits in improving public health, I lean towards the latter due to the diversity of people’s backgrounds and the impracticality of implementation."
Translation to Vietnamese:
Chắc chắn, tôi có thể đánh giá bài luận của bạn dựa trên hệ thống điểm IELTS. Dưới đây là phân tích chi tiết về hiệu suất của bạn trong các tiêu chí khác nhau:
Đạt được Nhiệm vụ:
Điểm: 6.5
Bài luận của bạn đã đáp ứng đầy đủ nhiệm vụ bằng cách trình bày cả hai quan điểm và đưa ra ý kiến của bạn. Tuy nhiên, bạn có thể cải thiện bằng cách cung cấp các ví dụ cụ thể để hỗ trợ lập luận của mình, và bạn cũng có thể mở rộng phần kết luận của mình.
Tính Mạch lạc và Liên kết:
Điểm: 7
Bạn đã có cấu trúc hợp lý và phân đoạn hiệu quả. Tuy nhiên, có một số nơi cấu trúc câu có thể được làm mượt mà hơn để tăng tính mạch lạc và liên kết.
Tài nguyên Từ vựng:
Điểm: 7
Bài luận của bạn thể hiện một phạm vi từ vựng và cụm từ tốt. Tuy nhiên, bạn có thể được hưởng lợi từ việc sử dụng các thuật ngữ chính xác hơn trong một số trường hợp để diễn đạt ý kiến của bạn tốt hơn.
Phạm vi và Độ Chính xác Ngữ pháp:
Điểm: 6.5
Bạn đã hiển thị một phạm vi cấu trúc ngữ pháp tốt, nhưng có một số lỗi nhỏ và cụm từ không tự nhiên.
Với những đánh giá và chỉnh sửa này, bạn có thể có được cái nhìn rõ hơn về cách cải thiện bài luận của mình.
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/ielts-writing-task-2-07
Question:
Some people think that the government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people, but others argue that it should be decid...
Xem thêm
Grading Thu Uyên Nguyễn's writing task 2 essay
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/writing-task-2-29
Question:
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Thu Uyên Nguyễn's essay:
Supporting poor countries sparks a controversy over other ways than financial aid from developed countries. As far as I am concerned, if rich countries organize the funds properly, this financial assistance will bring a myriad of benefits for undeveloped countries.
On the one hand, I agree with the point of view that without the correct management, monetary support from wealthy countries still may provide some negative effects to both local receivers and the donors. Firstly, this is a short-sighted measure because money cannot always be available to solve all the issues occurring in these countries. In other words, money is not the only factor leading to one nation’s poverty and additionally, not every problem can be tackled by financial aid. Furthermore, corruption still exists in some countries, which can hardly be addressed by a single wave of magic wand. Some government employees because of their own sake stop at nothing in defiance of potential risks to embezzle thousands of dollars from the charity. As a result, the truly poor people, who live on the breadline may not receive this money leading to the continuing of this problem.
On the other hand, I contend that it is better to organize and spend this amount of money for practical purposes. Developed countries might use their financial aid for stimulating poor countries’ education, which is the root cause of poverty and other problems. For example, they may open up the world of possibilities for students with difficult circumstances by providing scholarships and opportunities to learn at the developing education system or donating modern technological equipment. All necessary knowledge and skills are adopted in reality and enable residents not only to fulfill their daily expenses but also foster their country’s advancement. With the steadily increasing literacy rate, the living standards will improve and the society will be more civilized and gradually escape from the poverty circle with the passing of time.
In conclusion, monetary support from developed countries might bear many favorable aspects for poor nations if this aid is organized and controlled for community’s purposes.
Grading:
Task Achievement
Score: 7
Comment: The essay addresses the question well, providing a balanced view on the issue. You’ve adequately addressed the task of agreeing or disagreeing to some extent. Both points of view have been explored and a clear position is presented in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Score: 6
Comment: You have a clear paragraph structure, but the linking words ("On the one hand," "On the other hand") can make it feel a bit formulaic. You could also enhance the flow between sentences and ideas for a smoother reading experience.
Lexical Resource
Score: 7
Comment: Good range of vocabulary ("myriad of benefits," "root cause of poverty"). There are some minor errors but they do not hinder understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Score: 6
Comment: While you have a good range of sentence structures, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that should be improved for a higher score.
Mistakes Line by Line and Corrections:
"Supporting poor countries sparks a controversy over other ways than financial aid from developed countries."
Correction: "The issue of supporting poor countries has sparked controversy, particularly regarding methods other than financial aid from developed nations."
"As far as I am concerned, if rich countries organize the funds properly, this financial assistance will bring a myriad of benefits for undeveloped countries."
Correction: "In my opinion, if wealthy countries manage funds properly, such financial assistance can bring myriad benefits to underdeveloped nations."
"Some government employees because of their own sake stop at nothing in defiance of potential risks to embezzle thousands of dollars from the charity."
Correction: "Some government employees, for their own benefit, go to great lengths, disregarding potential risks, to embezzle thousands of dollars from charitable funds."
Vietnamese Translation:
Đạt Được Nhiệm Vụ
Điểm: 7
Nhận xét: Bài viết giải quyết câu hỏi tốt, đưa ra một quan điểm cân nhắc về vấn đề. Bạn đã đưa ra đầy đủ các quan điểm và có một lập trường rõ ràng được trình bày trong phần mở đầu và nhấn mạnh lại trong kết luận.
Mạch lạc và Làm Liền Mạch
Điểm: 6
Nhận xét: Bạn có một cấu trúc đoạn văn rõ ràng, nhưng việc sử dụng các từ nối ("Một mặt," "Mặt khác") có thể làm cho nó có vẻ hơi cứng nhắc. Bạn cũng có thể cải thiện dòng chảy giữa các câu và ý tưởng để có trải nghiệm đọc mượt mà hơn.
Tài nguyên Từ vựng
Điểm: 7
Nhận xét: Phạm vi từ vựng tốt ("lợi ích vô số," "nguyên nhân gốc rễ của nghèo đói"). Có một số lỗi nhỏ nhưng chúng không làm ảnh hưởng đến việc hiểu.
Phạm vi và Độ Chính xác của Ngữ pháp
Điểm: 6
Nhận xét: Mặc dù bạn có một loạt các cấu trúc câu tốt, có một số lỗi ngữ pháp và cụm từ ngượng ngùng cần được cải thiện để có điểm số cao hơn.
Các lỗi Từng Dòng và Sửa Chữa:
"Việc hỗ trợ các nước nghèo đã gây ra nhiều tranh cãi, đặc biệt là về các phương pháp khác ngoài viện trợ tài chính từ các quốc gia phát triển."
"Theo ý kiến của tôi, nếu các quốc gia giàu có quản lý nguồn vốn đúng cách, viện trợ tài chính này có thể mang lại nhiều lợi ích cho các quốc gia đang phát triển."
"Một số công chức chính phủ, vì lợi ích của bản thân, đã làm mọi cách, không quan tâm đến nguy cơ tiềm ẩn, để biển thủ hàng ngàn đô la từ các quỹ từ thiện."
Link: https://zim.vn/forum/question/writing-task-2-29
Question:
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give othe...
Xem thêm
